April showers bring May flowers. But every time one of us showers, we just create sewage. We allow all that fresh clean water to flow over us right into a drain where it becomes unholy wastewater. Each time we take a leak, we contaminate anywhere from 1-6 gallons of drinkable water. It’s a huge waste of our natural resources, and I’d like to share a few tips on how you can help save our planet while saving money on utilities.
The sad truth about wasting water
Many western states in the US have been facing water shortages and crises for years. Apparently there isn’t much water in the desert, but some people still think it’s a good idea to live there. While these folks can consume up to a gallon of water in a day, they can literally piss away another 100 gallons of fresh clean water.
In a careful dance requiring an incredible amount of resources, excrement is diluted with fresh drinking water just so that it can be transported to a wastewater treatment plant. There, the body waste is removed and the not so poopy anymore water is put back into the river for the lucky folks downstream.
While it’s rare for us to have a drought back east, dealing with wastewater is still a serious issue. When our wastewater treatment plants become inundated, they overflow. The excess wastewater ends up in our rivers, lakes, and oceans. Some beaches are even shut down because there is literally too much shit in the water.
An easy solution
I know it’s tough coming to terms with the fact that our regular bodily functions can cause such havoc on our water supply. I’ve shared tips before on how to save money on your energy bills, and low-flow shower heads are a great way to reduce the amount of water used for showers. But there is another simple and effective way to save water.
Pee outside. While best kept confined to nature, and out of city streets, pissing au-natural is an excellent way to help keep our rivers, streams, and oceans clean and dookie-free.
Anyone can pee outside
Some of us prefer a little privacy in the privy, and the great outdoors are full of private spots. Bushes, trees, hills, and valleys can make for great cover. Just use your creativity and play a little hide and seek before you take a leak.
Nature, it’s where your pee wants to be
Each time you pee outside, you save up to 5 gallons of water that otherwise would have been contaminated in your toilet. Not only that, nature is where your pee wants to be. That fresh urine contains nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium. So why not enjoy the freedom and majesty of nature while giving plants what they crave?
Synthetic commercial fertilizers are produced through an energy intensive process using fossil fuel. Natural fertilizers like milorganite are just your own pee and poo processed and sold back to you for beaucoup bucks. Why waste all that energy and money when you and a couple friends can turn a case of home brewed beer into liquid gold in no time?
The bottom line
There really are no drawbacks to peeing outside (assuming you keep it private… and in nature.) You can save cash on your water and sewage bills while getting free fertilizer for your lawn. As a bonus, you can help plants grow, and keep poop out of our waterways and off of our beaches. It’s a win-win for your wallet and the planet.
More money saving tips to come!
Make sure you stay tuned for our next money-saving post with a feature from my good friend Lorenzo. In a moment of genius (spurred by a few home brews while helping me fertilize the lawn) he was struck with an idea on how to save money on hats. It’s a surprising way to recycle at the same time. You won’t want to miss when he shares his secret.
Happy April Fool’s Day
But seriously, low-flow shower heads are good, and so is peeing outside. Just make sure your neighbors can’t see you.
Loved it! Just believable enough to keep me wondering “is he serious?”
Quite serious! Weather permitting I pee outside exclusively 🙂
We made a new hat last night and are feeling it this morning.
It can be tough keeping up with the latest trends in head wear 😉
My boys have been wizzin’ in the woods for years. In fact it was a great way to potty train them and save on disposable diapers keeping them out of landfills. HaPEE April Fools Day!
Sounds like you’ve got a bunch of whiz kids 🙂
Yes, yes we should all pee outside. 🙂 I’ve also tried to stagger my showers to every other day instead of every day. I can’t tell a difference and it saves water.
But damn this April Fool’s Day!
Ha! Not showering at all is even more effective than a low flow shower head 😉
I love it.. nice April fool’s twist. We have onsite well and septic so I guess you could say our water is recycled inside or out. .. Still nothing wrong with a tree to in my case save electricity.
Should help your trees grow nice and strong 🙂
Peeing outside is only going halfway. Dig a hole and build an outhouse over it.
Good thinking, that’s a few more gallons of water you can save on number two 😉
I’m trying to buy 150 acres with a 125 year old farmhouse. There is an outhouse still standing from before plumbing was installed in the house. I would like to build a campground on the property. If it comes together there will likely be several outhouses.
Cool, sounds like a sweet project!
Have to admit, I’ve done my fair share of peeing outside!
Have you ever been to India Mr. CK? I hear this kind of thing is quite common.
This post is actually pretty timely topic …a major waste treatment plant just went down in my area and a huge chunk (millions of gallons) of the city’s sewage is just getting dumped into the ocean without being processed. Ewww!
That’s pretty gross, I’d abstain from any water sports for a while… They should have just told everyone to pee outside, coulda reduced the amount going into the ocean!
I have not been to India, but there is a reason I say it’s best kept out of city streets 🙂
Forget about peeing outside. Some surfers pee IN their wetsuits when they’re out in the water. Personally I find that quite disgusting, but some guys prefer it to getting out of the water, taking a leak, putting on the wetsuit again, and then jumping back in the water.
Ha! That’s not exactly keeping it out of the ocean, but your not cool unless you pee your pants 🙂
Our kid doesn’t mind peeing outside, but his mom really hates it. Heh heh.
It’s a shame that it is so difficult to use grey water. Most of the water we use don’t need to go to the treatment plant. Shower water can just go to the yard or garden. New houses should have a system to use grey water instead of wasting it.
Many new houses are built with graywater systems. It allows for a smaller, less expensive septic system. It also helps the septic system work better by keeping detergents and fats out.
You could get a greywater saving toilet lid/sink 🙂
This made me giggle. 🙂 When we moved to the country, our son had just turned five and Rick was thrilled to teach him the joy of peeing outside. He became a pro at it quickly and is saving the earth eons of water. But we realized we needed to do our best to explain the peeing outside rules when we were at the local big box store two years later and the boy headed to the front of the truck after we parked, ready to save water right there in the parking lot. 🙂
Haha, an innocent mistake. At least he was trying to help save water 🙂
I hike a lot, so peeing in nature is a necessity. And sometimes I hike while having a beer, so even more necessary! 🙂 I live in a condo in a downtown area, so I need to use my toilet, but when I had a house with a tall fence, I considered getting one of those foldable toilet seats and going to the bathroom outside. Besides pee, isn’t our other excrement also good for the garden? 🙂
Maybe I need to start hiking with beer!
I’ve already got plenty of chicken poop for the garden 😉
That post made me laugh. Water conservation is so important. I like how you tie finances to the environment.
Remember the phrase, “If it’s yellow let it mellow, if it brown flush it down”. Spray the potty with some essential oils to help the scent.
If you live in the western U.S. This is dead serious. We are at the door of disaster. The several heat domes we have recently had should tell any sane person what we are headed for.
The water level behind Hoover dam has never been lower since it was built.
I just heard a hydrologist state the period of time after Hoover dam was built in the 30’s was abnormally wet, now we are looking at the last 3 decades of extremely dry weather. I have committed to peeing outdoors for a full year. I have a private wood pile that works well. Not a drop of potable water will be used by me. I get a kick out of people who act like this is somehow new to them. They haven’t ever used thought to examine the waste of peeing in a toilet. Where do you think our ancesters peed.
The climate catastrophe is here now and forever, worse and worse, and worse is what we can expect.
Think of the produce, fruit and other items we all like to eat, now prioritize your personal water needs with eating. Da, Or not.